The Mundane and Arcane

New art for a new year

2011-12-26T04:58:17Z

I don't know if anyone still reads LJ, but I thought I would post here though this is also on my wordpress blog (http://www.spiralfirestudio.com/blog/)

At long last, I've begun drawing again. It has not been easy. As you probably have read, the completion of the deck too a lot out of me. To recap, though I finished painting late in June, I had to work on the formatting and all the publishing and production odds and ends. Anyway, after the deck released in October, I was utterly spent. I seriously spent a solid month just sleeping and watching tv, and avoiding email...

My birthday came and went on December 1, then of course the holidays. All this time I have struggled to draw. I sat at the art desk and nothing came. No inspiration, no images that just begged to be painted, nothing. So finally, I started reconsidering the art that I love - the Pre-Raphaelites. I decided to get some new reference photos, which my friend Becca was so kind to pose for. Then last night, it happened. I sat down and found an image and an idea, and I drew it. Drew the picture, liked it and moved it to the art board. Yes, tonight I finally painted.

The painting is the first large painting I have done in a long time. Not since I used acrylics have I painted something this size. I don't know why, I was just possessed to use a large canvas. Do you like it? It's only just begun of course, and now I type this while I wait for the canvas to dry. One thing I'm finding with using a large sheet of paper is that it bubbles up and ripples up worse than a smaller canvas. I hope this dries flat. I also hope this doesn't suck.

Not doom and gloom, but what a week

2011-08-05T13:40:16Z

I broke my car yesterday.

I went to the county fair last night and of course they park you in a field. Well, coming out of the field to the concrete road, there was a significant dip that I didn't see with all the grass. Bam. So, there is a bar underneath my car right behind the bumper that I'm pretty sure is the frame. That metal bar is bent downward. And I sprung the bumper on the left hand side. Fortunately that part wasn't bad, and I pushed on it and it popped back into place. But the bend metal is of some concern. I do not need to tell you, I did not need this right now. It's going to be expensive to fix I fear. I think I might vomit.

That's really the worst part of the week so far. Its been a bad week with a lot of angst and stress and crabbiness and other not fun emotional times.

The tarot proof was sent back successfully yesterday, they should be getting it this afternoon. I'm very pleased by how beautiful the colors on the cards came out. Very good color matching to the original paintings. Even in the smallness of the cards, the detail is still preserved. So as of this afternoon, the printing company will have the final approval and will start the prep process. They may start printing as early as next Wednesday. Turn around time is 4 weeks from the time they receive the approval to the time I have the deck in my hands. Four weeks. I can't believe how close we are. After five years, this last bit of time is the hardest. I am patient, I think these 4 weeks will pass quickly. I do have things I'm doing in the next few weeks, so my brain will hopefully not dwell on the deck and make me crazy.

Post tarot blues

2011-07-29T02:17:35Z

I’ve been done with the tarot for just shy of a week, and I have the post-tarot blues. I guess its only natural, I was working on the deck for 5 years. It feels so weird being done, you know? Spending so much time on one thing leaves this big empty hole inside when you don’t have that activity to fill it.

On Wednesday last week, Michelle and I went over to Christine Filipak and Joseph Vargo’s house and they helped us format the deck into the proper file layout for the printer. It was amazing to see the deck all put together in the file, but my stomach was such a mess from all the stress. I swear, I was near to tears when we finished. It was just all the emotions of the last two years, all rolled up into one big package. It was release, it was catharsis, and it came with tears. I called the printer on Thursday and signed the contract and payed the down payment. That night, I came home and just wandered around the house completely lost. By Friday afternoon I felt better, and the last couple days I have felt actually happy. Relieved. It has honestly been a long time since I have felt… relaxed… I guess that’s what this feeling is anyway. I feel so much relief. I don’t have this whole big pressing project weighing me down. I can do whatever I want, I have free time again. I wish I knew what to do with it. Free time. You long for it when you don’t have it, and when you finally get it you don’t know what to do with yourself. Like me, I had all these ideas of what I was going to do when I finished the deck. Well, for the past five days after finishing, I have done nothing. I wander around, I watch tv, I’ve read some. For fun I even reorganized my file drawer in my art room. Sick, isn’t it? I mean, who reorganizes their file drawer for fun on a WEEKEND??!! Sheesh. I’m so lame, filing on a weekend.

I still don’t know what to do with myself. I need a new project to fill the void. I don’t like voids. I really do feel lost and empty right now. Relaxed, happy, but empty.

Don't forget, I've moved my blog to my website: http://www.spiralfirestudio.com/blog/
Find me there!

its the big one - TAROT UPDATE!!!

2011-06-17T15:59:32Z

I have all kinds of updates today, its been a busy two weeks. But I want to
tell you about the Tarot News - mostly because this is the biggest thing in
my world and its all I've been focusing on for like... forever?? Feels like
it. Someone please feed me chocolate when I'm done, or get me to a massage
therapist. I'm gonna need both.

*Tarot Update* - I have created the card back and the card box. Sounds
simple right? I have to tell you, this part of the process has been the
hardest. The card back took me 12 hours to make. Would have taken longer
if it hadn't been for Christine at Monolith Graphics who helped by doing the
border on the card back. 12 straight hours of detailed painting on a wing
design, and then scanning it into photoshop and trying to create the
cleanest card design possible. I had to do things in Photoshop I had never
done before. I love Photoshop, but unlike my graphic design friends who use
all of its apps regularly, I in comparison know very little and struggled
with each application in the program. But the result is stunning. Well,
stunning to me, but you know I'm a total perfectionist and wouldn't be happy
if it wasn't a very beautiful design. Trust me, I think you'll like it.

*Tarot Release* - It is almost time. The Watcher Angel Tarot will go on
pre-sale on *Tuesday, June 21, 2011*. The deck official release date
is *October
21, 2011*. To kick off the Tarot pre-sale, Michelle and I will be doing a
live Twitter to YouTube chat on Monday June 20th at 6:30 EST, and Tuesday
the 21st same time. We will be taking questions from fans of the deck via
Twitter (@sethanikeem and @spiralingfire) and answering them live. We'll
also take a bunch of those detailed questions and answer them via YouTube
video chat and post it immediately. So if you have questions about the deck
that you would like answered, post them here and I'll print them out for our
chat, or hit us up on Monday.

I don't mind saying, it is extremely important that our pre-sale go well.
If we can't raise enough money in the pre-sale, we can't publish the deck
whose cost for just the printing alone sits at an astounding $8500. Scary
isn't it. So please, please help me make this dream a reality and encourage
people to pre-order a tarot deck. I have been hard at work on my website
with a new design and all sorts of features, and am putting up a new
*Store*this weekend on which the deck can be pre-ordered. Check out
*http://www.spiralfirestudio.com* later today when the site is totally up, I
think you will be very happy with it.

Hugs to all, thank you for all your continued support of my art!
Jackie

the tarot saga continues

2011-06-06T16:39:41Z

And the Watcher Angel Tarot deck saga continues -

For the next few weeks, I will be focusing on wrapping up the tarot deck.
This is not as simple or as fun as it sounds. In fact, if anyone wants to
know what the hardest part of the tarot process is, it would be this time
now - the production time. I'm not enjoying this, not even a little. I
wish I could just dump all this on someone else and say "have fun!" but I
can't. Though I am glad to be done painting the deck, the deck is still not
finished. No one thinks about the trials of production when they think
about an art project like this. There is plenty of effort to be made just
to bring this deck to fruition so that it can be purchased... not to mention
putting together $10K for the production costs... sheesh... So what's left
you ask? Plenty. Why am I not working on any other projects? Why am I not
working on the website? Jesus people, give me a break. After five years I
am still not done. This is crunch time and I have about a month to get this
all in order, in addition to working my regular job and all the other crap
in my life. In no particular order (since it's all being done about the
same time):

1. Format all the images
2. Merge all the images with the card border, adding the text to the
card.
3. Re-do the card back design
4. Layout the mini-book
5. Design the box!!! (eep!!!!)
6. Design a signature card
7. Apply for a UPC code and ISBN number
8. Send all the files to the publisher and then work with them on the
color, wait for proofs
9. Re-do the website in total
10. Make a store for the website for the pre-sale of the decks
11. Figure out taxes... ugh...
12. Make one-sheet advertisements for marketing to stores, send out
advertisements!
13. Locate a place to hold the tarot release party
14. Pray I don't go crazy in the next few weeks.

I know I am forgetting things, but you get the idea. The tarot, although
finished with the painting, is still in progress. It all seems like a lot,
but really I should be able to get this done in a month and send the tarot
to print in July. We're aloting 2 months for the test print, print, and
delivery, getting the deck in late September. We are still planning for the
release date of October 21 and I think I will have the party on the 22nd.
Saturday's are just easier for everyone.

Doing stuff

2011-05-27T14:13:43Z

It's very strange to not be working on the giant tarot project. Although I still have things to do for it, like formatting the deck, I'm sorta stalled until I can get a copy of Adobe InDesign. Apparently, the printer requires vector formatting of the image submissions and won't take Photoshop files if there is text involved. I will hopefully get a copy soon. We're shooting for an October 21, 2011 release date. Yes, the purported end-of-the-world... I liked that date because I find it both amusing and ironic. I'd like to have the release party and a gallery showing that day. Trying to figure out where to host it.

But again, strange to not be working on the tarot anymore. I started an Italian White VIne illumination last night, which is about the first time in nearly two years that I have done an illumination. It was so weird to draw in a style not of the Tarot, I really had a difficult time switching gears. I need to make two scrolls for a friend in the SCA, for a Court Barony, and both in the White Vine style. I will post progress pics on Twitter, it should be really nice when its done. I'll finish drawing the first one up today and start the gilding process.

Michelle also has some short stories that I'm going to illustrate, some black&white pen art I think. Color is nice, but I do love pen art. I may poke around on that this weekend. The illumination doesn't have a deadline, so I can paint for a while and then take a break if I need to.

I don't really have big plans for the weekend. I was thinking that I might want to bbq something, probably make a trip to my favorite butcher. I do need to go to the mall and get some work clothes... god, I am SO boring right now!! (blah) Probably will just hang around and muck around with some art. I planted tomato plants last weekend. If they survive being waterlogged with all the rain this week, I hope to make chilli and such in a few short months. Ugh... I'm boring even to me!!!

I hope everyone else is doing more exciting things than I am. I feel like my brain is taking a vacation and is sitting in my skull watching the grass grow. I think I'm just exhausted on a few levels. The worst part is, not having a project is making me feel a little crazy. I've been projecting for 5 years now, thinking only of one thing. This is like losing a job or something. I honestly don't know what to do with myself and nothing is truly interesting to me at the moment. Like, I keep searching for something to do, and little things aren't fulfilling. Seriously, if its not a project, I don't know how to look at it or how to feel about it. Its partly why I keep looking at grad school. Long scoping project to eat my time and focus me. Gah...

The Seeker card

2011-05-24T01:52:15Z

I would like to introduce you to the final addition to the Tarot deck - The Seeker card.

The Seeker card is not part of any suit, nor part of the major arcana. It is a card outside the tarot. It is "the querent" card. In a tarot reading, the reader always has a card in the spread to represent him / her. But to do that, they must remove a card from the deck, and thus remove a card from the possible cards to draw from. This card is meant to give the reader the option - to use a card outside the deck yet part of the deck - a card that represents the Seeker in all of us.

Can you guess who this is?

This is Eilfie Music.

Back on LJ after a looooonnnggg break

2011-05-20T14:03:44Z

Well, after a rather lengthy hiatus, I am back on LJ for the time being. This is largely due to the gentle nagging of my friend Chris. I took a break over the last few months while I finished the deck. I also sorta started posting more to Twitter and Facebook than I do here. Its not that I don't like blogging, but I'm starting to really be annoyed by LJ and the steady string of advertisements. Also, I'm not too sure that many people post here or read here anymore. So I started trying to put together a new website that would incorporate an RSS blog (as well as other things like a gallery and store). This is not going well. This does not make me happy. I am hating Wordpress more and more and have this increasing desire to chuck my computer across the room, more or less because Wordpress itself cannot be chucked across a room. Sigh... Wordpress is just too inflexible for someone more familiar with Dreamweaver.

Anyway, I finished the tarot deck everyone!!! Yay!!!! I'll post more about that in a bit.

What else... I'm still working at the same job. It is still making me crazy. I'm hoping this purported "rapture" improves the job market by reducing the number of people looking for work. I very much want to return to education directly, its where I was happiest. So I'm looking at the master's programs at Kent State and Akron. I hate the idea of going back into debt, I am still after all paying off my undergrad loans. However, an advanced degree should help, at least thats the theory.

I taught at Convocation in February in Detroit. Classes went well, I taught a psychic practicum workshop, a grounding and shielding workshop, and a class on textual amulets. I don't think I'll go back for 2012, unless I'm a special guest. I don't want to shell out $320 for a hotel room again. That plus food and gas... its just too expensive. I feel that if I'm a teacher for 3 of their classes, the least they could do is offer to comp me one night of my stay. Maybe that's asking too much, but when you have to arrive on Thursday and leave on Sunday, one night isn't a lot to request, especially when its my time I'm donating.

Went to New Orleans in February. Came home, finished the deck two weeks later, and yeah. My life since December. Work, class prep, painting, more painting, last push on painting, and then collapse. I've been watching a lot of Netflix and letting my brain just chill. That and fighting with my website.

More later!

Card Countdown

2010-12-28T03:53:24Z

So on a lighter note, I did finish two cards this weekend. Basically locked myself in my art room, bought a subscription to NetFlix download for my new Blue Ray/DVD player, and watched a crap ton of movies and painted my little paintbrushes to the nub. Marathon painting of doom... yeah, I can barely feel my hands anymore. Ouch.

Here they are, the 8 of Wands - "Movement" - depicting the magical progression where the mage masters the out-of-body experience. And, the 9 of Wands - "Perseverance" - depicting the mage struggling to keep many efforts going, to keep all the energy moving, to keep it from crashing down on him.

So if any of you out there are counting down with me, you should know this -- 8. Cards. Left...
Yes, 8 cards to go in the countdown. Are you excited?

less than merry

2010-12-25T06:43:04Z

Hasn't been a merry anything for me this holiday, I had to put my mom's dog to sleep yesterday. The dog was so sick with cancer she couldn't walk anymore. Her heart murmur so bad you could feel the rumble right through her thin chest. Her abdomen was filled with fluid. The dog had lost muscle mass everywhere, she was a walking skeleton. Her face so thin, she had no discernible tissue left and her skull structure showed through. Yes, it was the end of her life, her time drawing to a close, but she fought to stay alive, she didn't want to go. My mom called the vet and asked to bring her in. We took little Snoopy in, I had to carry her. My mom and sister were so messed up. We took her into the back room and laid her on the table. My mom and sister said their goodbyes. The vet put the needle in, I held Snoopy's thin little face in my hands and talked to her. She jerked when the drug started in, she turned her head and looked to us, she didn't want to go. I continued to hold her little head, I talked her into death. I could feel her die, I tried to release her into death. But though her body was dead, she did not want to go. She was still there, and I was so upset. I still am, I cry even as I write this. She wouldn't leave. She was dead but wouldn't go. I have never experienced that. Everything that I have experienced so far has been death with transition. I have not felt something that simply wouldn't transition. Her eyes were open. She died with her eyes open. I know that she will figure it out, decide to move on to heaven or go back to my mom's house. I wouldn't be surprised to find her there, though truthfully I feel she will simply move on.
I have been so upset by this, that I had to help an animal die again. It is so much easier when a person dies, at least you can talk to them and they understand. An animal... well, it's harder to get them to understand. Tina, my cat, had understood and been ready to die when I had to take her. Though I was a total mess, I could still feel her and knew that she was ready, even if I wasn't. She passed right through me when she died, it was the strangest feeling. And then later that day, she returned to my apartment. But this little dog, my god how guilty I feel right now for doing what I know had to be done. I hate it, I hate how I feel, I hate that I had to do it, and I feel like shit for doing it. I feel so very, very guilty and sad. Her face is ever before me now. I cried most of last night. Sleep can be a blessing though, for when I woke up, her face and that memory of holding her little head between my hands is foremost in my thoughts. My brain feels like a cracked record, it repeats it and repeats it, over and over again. She was so sick, yet still fought for life right through the end. She loved and trusted us, and we brought her death. I don't care that it had to be done, you and I can sit and reason and rationalize this till hell freezes over. She didn't understand. That's the point. And now I hurt. I think I hurt worse than my mom and sister. My mom, I told her that Snoopy was alright. But I hurt because I held her when my mother and sister couldn't bear it. I hurt because I tried to give transition to a dog who would not go, and it scared me terribly to think that maybe I did something wrong, that I failed, or that god forbid she was somehow trapped inside her body. I know that isn't true, that you don't get trapped inside your body when you die, but she wouldn't leave, she was still there, and inside I was freaking out even if outside I was being stoic. I hope she finds peace, I know she probably already has. I hope she understands and forgives me. I hope I can move past this quickly, I can't stand feeling like this. I know what had to be, but what my cognitive side says and what my heart says do not always agree.

Energy Work Skype Group

2010-12-17T15:01:54Z

I am starting an invitation only Energy Work Skype group chat. The group will be comprised of 20 people and will meet online once every 3-4 weeks on a given evening (probably Tuesday or Wednesday) from approximately 8 pm to 10 pm to discuss various metaphysical topics such as energy work, spirits and communication, practical techniques like grounding, shielding and healing, dealing with hauntings, ect. We will utilize the chapters of Michelle Belanger's books - specifically the Psychic Energy Codex and Walking the Twilight Path to guide our discussion. If response is large, I will create 2 different groups - one for Energy Work going from the Psychic Energy Codex - and one for Spirits and Mediumship working with the Walking the Twilight Path book.
These groups will involve interactive discussions moderated by myself, so please show up ready to participate. They are also designed to become a sort of metaphysical support group for you.

The first chat date will be Thursday, December 30th at 8:00 and will be an introduction and discussion.
To participate, you must have the latest version of Skype, high speed internet access, and a working microphone. Video chat is optional. You must also have access to at least the Psychic Energy Codex and have read the assigned chapter before the chat. Participants must be at least 18 years old.
You must email me by December 27th with the following information to be considered for the group(s).

Your Name
Your Skype Name
Age
Which group are you interested in: Energy Work and the Psychic Engery Codex - or - Spirits and Mediumship and the Twilight Path book.
A brief bio (one paragraph on things you're interested in, both mundane and metaphysical, if you're a parent with a child who is psychic, vampiric, a medium, etc)
Why do you want to participate? (Is something going on that you need help or are you looking to develop your skills, etc.)

Please send the email to: spiralingfire@gmail.com with the Subject listed as: Energy Skype chat

Not all responders will be selected to participate due to size constraints or other issues. Groups will be hand selected by myself to create the best group dynamic possible.

Big Ten

2010-12-03T15:15:29Z

I don't know where the time is going! I looked on my LJ and I posted only once in November, and now suddenly it's December. So let's see... In November, I completed my First Degree rite with the House. I completed two tarot cards, which I know isn't a lot, but both were very time consuming. I also cooked a nice Thanksgiving meal for my housemates. We've been busy at work too, recruiting almost every week, which has meant busy long days on Thursday's and Friday's.
Back to the tarot cards, I completed the Ten of Cups late Sunday night. The Ten of Cups is about having what is most important in life. The 9 of Cups, which is wishes, is about wishing for things you think you want, but is it what you really need or is it what will make you happy? Maybe. The Ten of Cups is about having the things that make it all worth it. This card took something like 34 hours to complete, all the portraiture in the card made this a very difficult and lengthy process. It was the 11th card in the countdown, so now only 10 more to go! Yes, the Big Ten, I'm in the home stretch and it couldn't feel longer if it tried. But I am soldiering forth and will start on card 10 this weekend. In honor of the Big Ten, I am offering a special deal on my website - getting all 4 Tarot posters for $25, signed by both Michelle and I. You can check it out here: http://www.spiralfirestudio.com/ I will continue the special deal until I complete card 10, so you have a few days at least.

And now it's December...
I had my birthday on Wednesday and had a great day. I did have to be at work super early in the morning, but I got out early and went with Jason for a quick lunch in the Medina town square, and then we walked around and visited some of the little shops. That night, Michelle, Jason and I went to dinner and played Settlers of Catan and had birthday cake.

Last night we had one of our recruitment dinners, which meant I went to work at 8 a.m. and didn't get home till 11 p.m., then rolling right into our early Friday morning conference.

This weekend, I will be working on the tarot of course, but not much else if I can help it. Lots to do and only very little time left, it feels like.

its November

2010-11-23T04:54:27Z

Yeah, like 3 weeks since my last update.

I finished the 7 of Wands card, its the only card I was able to get done since Halloween. Family obligations, House obligations, shopping obligations, and just plain old exhaustion. Yup, been busy. But I did get reference pictures for the next 3 cards and got ideas for at least 3 others. Getting there. Over the Thanksgiving break, I will be painting on the 10 of Cups. After that, I will likely do the 8 and 9 of Wands. I'm running out of card choices!! Eeek!!

Thanksgiving. I bought a bird. A nice fresh one, all free range and hormone free. Now to design the rest of the menu.

Trick-or-Treat

2010-10-29T13:58:57Z

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope that you all have some fun plans for the weekend. :-)
I plan on... wait for it... painting! Yeah, you could see that one coming a mile away. I'll also be going to a little party tonight, but painting and watching Halloween type movies tomorrow, making popcorn, and enjoying Me time. Sunday will fine me carving up 6 pumpkins (sethanikeem picked up 3 on the same day I picked up 3... oops!) and handing out candy to the neighbor kids. I probably won't dress up though, or if I did, it would be in an SCA dress.

Not much else to report. Have a great holiday!

Lake County Poor House Investigation

2010-10-22T13:50:19Z

On November 6, you can find me speaking at the Lake County Poor House and serving as the psychic on the haunting investigation! This is a fund raising event for the Historical Society with all proceeds going to restoring and preserving the building. tinyurl.com/3y2l3wb

The Lake County Poor House has been investigated by a number of investigation teams, including a prominent TV ghost investigation show (episode being aired soon from what I understand). It is an extremely haunted location with a variety of spirits to interact with and a number of interesting energy spots to observe. Michelle Belanger (@sethanikeem) and I investigated this place last year and were very impressed by what we found. There is so much there, it becomes a great place for experiencing a wide array of haunting types - from just residual energy, to energy from the land, to repetitive ghosts, and living spirits. The place is an absolute hot spot due to the amount of human suffering and distress, so many people living and dieing there... just so much sadness. The Poor House was operational from the mid-1800's to only a few years ago. As the county poor house, the grounds were home to widows, children, vagrants, the poor and homeless, and the mentally disturbed. It also served as the county hospital for a number of years, caring for a variety of patients. Numbers of vagrants mortally injured while hopping trains were brought to the hospital, and largely just made comfortable before dying. Mothers/widows would often wind up there with there with their children, and sometimes the children were adopted away from their mothers. There are even records of children just turning up on the doorstep of the Poor House after their parents sent them away, unable to care for them any more. Can you imagine what that would have been like for the mothers, for the children in these situations? There were sexual assaults on grounds, attacks on other residents by violent residents, violence among the insane... There is a scary and upsetting place in the building too - the basement was where they kept the insane residents, locked up in cages behind steel bars. People were packed in like animals, all in one or two cells. Anyone with mental problems or suspected of mental problems were put there - they didn't know what else to do with them. It is an awful place to see, and even worse if you're sensitive because it is full of pain.

From a history standpoint, this place is great to investigate. 150 years of Lake County are present on the grounds, with county records, architecture, furniture, and fashion. The Historical Society has done an amazing job in restoring the building and bit by bit they are saving the building and preserving the history. The Poor House front portion housed the superintendents, and their home was beautiful in its hay day and is also being restored. The Historical Society is refinishing all the rooms and restoring them to traditional Victorian style. They have displays of Victorian life in every room, collections of beautiful fans, dresses, glassware, etc. Haunting Investigations like the one we are doing on November 6th are important in preserving these buildings for future generations. All the proceeds from this night will go toward the building restoration. So whether you are interested in ghost investigations or just like Victorian history, come to the event and help restore this building and preserve the history.

http://tinyurl.com/3y2l3wb

Vacation: Day 7 and 8

2010-10-17T05:16:05Z

Friday:
After the email I got to my work account, and summarily losing it, I submitted my resume to yet another job posting as I desperately try to leave my current job. I pulled myself together and headed out to run some errands, also stopping off at the Medina Library Book Sale before heading off to pick up my friend and head over to the Lake County Poor House for a little ghost walk.

Saturday:
Decided that a trip down Route 42 was needed... I heard from the ladies at the Medina Library that there were two neat places to visit out by Lodi. One of them was Richardson Apple Orchard, which we bought a bunch of apples for pies and stuff. But the coolest place turned out to be the Log Cabin Shop which was this awesome store for black powder rifle enthusiasts, but also carried stuff for early-American interests, and had the biggest best selection of used books for sale on every topic you can think of. Their selection of history, archaeology, and art - all the things I'm interested in - was exceptional. If I'd had a pot of money, I would have spent it there today. They also had a museum of black powder rifles and all kinds of early American and Native American artifacts. This place was so cool I cannot even begin to express how awesome it was. Like, I held a first edition Harriet Beecher Stowe book today from 1866. It was $30, I seriously considered picking it up just for the cool factor.

it isn't worth it

2010-10-15T17:17:57Z

I made the sad mistake of checking my work email today, only to see that the medical education director is screaming at me for not doing some random piece of crap. I've been asking for help for 2 years, and have been working overtime all that time to try to stay afloat. Since August I have been working insane amounts of overtime for the site visit. I keep telling my department chair that I am behind, that things are getting missed and falling through the cracks, I keep saying we need help. I am done. I ask and I ask and I ask, and I get no help. And when their shit gets missed, they wonder why. Well, if I wasn't doing the job of two full time people, maybe things wouldn't get missed. All I want to do is walk into my chairs office on Monday and quit my job. I don't know what I'll do, but all I want to do is just that. I'm sick of it. Reading that email made my stomach hurt and I sit here with tears in my eyes trying not to cry. I have had it.

Vacation: Day 6

2010-10-15T06:48:09Z

Thursday:
I've discovered that day after day of no regiment means that I don't remember what day it is or the date either. The days are blending into each other, and I don't even care. Today was a day of not much. I drew a little bit, but mostly just watched the first season of the HBO series "Rome". It's a great series, but unfortunately I sat at my art desk and stared at the tv instead of actually drawing. Whatever. I'm chilling. This is my vacation.

Tomorrow I will be going to the Medina Library book sale, and then grabbing my friend and heading over to the Lake County Poor House for the evening ghost walk. I won't be there in an official capacity, that will be on November 6th when I am scheduled to speak and be the medium on the ghost walk. It's such a great place, very active with spirits, I am pleased to be invited back as the guest speaker. Michelle and I went there last year this time and spoke at their fundraiser, we both really liked the place. If you're interested, here is the website: http://tinyurl.com/3y2l3wb

Vacation: Day 3, 4 and 5

2010-10-14T02:21:09Z

Monday:
I decided on Monday that I should draw on the deck some. So I did that and then felt the uncontrollable need to make delicious made-from-scratch chili and apple spice cake with cream cheese glaze. Both were fantastic. The chili was made with fresh chicken, cooked and cut up into nice large chunks, fresh green, red and yellow pepper, onion, celery, and broccoli. The apple spice cake was also amazing, made with fresh Honey Crisp apples and white raisins. All told was about 4 hours of cooking. I was finished for the day.

Tuesday:
Went to lunch with my mom, went to the store, and then went to my friend Cathi Weber's book signing. She wrote her first book called "Haunted Willoughby, Ohio" and her book release was in a very cool building called Willoughby Coal. Michelle filmed a little of the release party and posted it to her YouTube page: www.youtube.com/user/sethanikeem#p/u/7/voGQQ5_cWi4
Got home and posted more of the tarot images to my website, which I am sorry to say, I have been neglectful in doing so lately due to my schedule.

Wednesday:
Michelle and I went and hung out all day today in Medina in a "Around and About Our Town" day. We went and walked around the town square and Michelle filmed again for her YouTube page, then headed over to the visitors bureau to find out if there was any interest in us hosting a ghost walk in Medina. We headed up and down the street before heading over to the Root Candle Company, a little local antique store, and a good little restaurant called "The Corkscrew" located in an awesome Victorian house. It's a fantastic old building, we were very excited to find it. Tasty food in a great atmosphere. After that, we headed over to the Medina Library, ranked #4 nationally, and talked to them about holding classes to support learning in the library. It was a fantastic day, I am having so much fun on my vacation.

Vacation: Day 2

2010-10-11T02:34:14Z

Today I went shopping with Jason for Halloween decorations. We drove up to Mapleside first - a local commercialized apple orchard and cider mill - and realized our mistake. Never thought five thousand people could fit into such a small location. Okay, five thousand might be an exaggeration, but suffice to say that it was packed and then some. Hundreds of cars though parked in every place there could be parking. We decided that it would be foolish to stop there and so took a turn eastward and headed to Hinckley. We really had no game plan, just to drive. I figured we would stumble on something fun somewhere. We wound up at a small store, a family owned home and garden type store set up in an old farm house. They were so nice and had a great little selection of mums, pumpkins, hay bales, and lots of local artisan stuff like honey and soaps and whatnot. We picked up a cornstalk bundle and two large mums, as well as three pumpkins and some odds and ends. I love supporting the small businesses and local economy. Sure, I could have found the pumpkins and stalks at the local grocery store, but small business I feel needs my support. They were quite reasonably priced too, I couldn't have done better elsewhere. I will definitely be going back, I really liked the people running it.

Came back home and decorated the porch. We'll probably make headstones and ghosts for our front yard in the next bit of time, be ready for the trick-or-treaters. We went to dinner and now I'm sitting at my computer just screwing around and kinda bored. I don't know what I want to do, I suppose I could draw up another card or something.

Vacation: Day 1 and a Tarot Card

2010-10-10T06:01:32Z

I thought it would be interesting to post a play by play of my vacation. Maybe not interesting to anyone but me, but its been so long since I've had time off with no obligations, I rather want to remember this, largely because I'm sitting here trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with myself. Most of the time when I take vacation time, it's generally to present at a conference. I love teaching at conventions, its great fun and something I love doing. But now I have 9 days away from the office and all the stress. 9 days where I am not obligated to be anywhere or do anything. 9 days... It's a weird state of affairs to not have anything to do. In all honesty, I need 90 days, not 9, to do all the things I want . And I am very, very tired. My goal, therefore, will be to rest and take one day at a time, doing whatever I feel like doing at that moment and enjoying the fact that it is MY moment and my agenda is MY choice. I like that idea.

Day .5 - Friday:
I got home yesterday (Friday) around 3:00, dazzlingly happy to be so. I had lunch with Jason and bought some delicious ice cream from a local Cleveland dairy called Country Parlour. I came back home and and fell hard asleep in my art room for like 3 hours. I was gone, passed out on the floor hugging the bean bag, hand still on the keyboard of my laptop. I woke up around 8 and stumbled around the house a bit. I peaked out the window and saw that Jason had built a bonfire in the backyard, so I grabbed the giant marshmallows and headed outside. Came back in and worked on the High Priestess card until 4 a.m.

Day 1 - Saturday
My first full day of vacation. I got up around 1:00 and took Jason to work before going off to get a few things from the grocery store. I don't know how I manage to go to a grocery store intending to get only eggs and milk, and come away with 30 other items. How does this happen? Well, I bought fixings for chili, which I make with fresh vegetables and meat. Not too spicy, not mild, just tangy and delicious. I'll do that in the next day or two. I worked on the card for the rest of the night, stopping only to color with my friends daughter who was over visiting. She's darling, and so I drew up halloween scene of a scarecrow in a pumpkin field with crows and such. I realize I could probably make a kids coloring book if I wanted. Back to drawing on the card and finished it a little past midnight. It is number 2 in the major arcana, The High Priestess card. This I think is a far cry better than the original High Priestess card. What should be understood is that this deck has been 4 years in the making and the early cards are of a different vision and technique. The more I worked on the deck, the clearer the vision became, and the more Michelle and I digressed from her original tarot notes. We found the voice of the deck, and on a personal note I found my voice as a watercolour artist. Such things are inevitable in a long term project though. My artistic style progressed and developed successfully into mature watercolour art of both great pigment control and drawing ability. So as we approach the end of the deck, we have been looking at the complete vision and we realized that two cards needed to be redone. One of them was the High Priestess. We wanted to re-do this card to bring it into line with the mature style, as well as the matured vision. I was not opposed to this revision as I did not like the original card anyway. But this new card I like very much, and not because it features yours truly. I love the look of this card, the feel, the vision. It's a good card. Why did I choose myself? I felt it was about time I put myself into the deck. I have a number of my friends in the deck, and people always ask me which card I'm in. So, here I am. I also resonate with this card's meaning, so I felt it was an appropriate choice for me to model the figure I am still trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the old card. I'm thinking of either auctioning it to raise money to produce the deck, or I might burn the image.

Old High Priestess Card from 2007

New High Priestess card

Time to sleep though. I hope folks like this card better; I do.

updates on my world

2010-09-27T04:08:40Z

Last week Wednesday was our accreditation site visit at work. It was so intense leading up to it, I worked a shit ton of hours and had everything ridiculously organized for the site surveyor. 17 boxes of files later, we were able to show the site surveyor everything he wanted to see. I think we did okay, but of course, who knows with these surveyors. We won't find out the results of the visit until March. However, my department chair was extremely happy with my work and is giving me a week off in October. I absolutely cannot wait for it and am trying to figure out what I'm going to do with myself. My first thoughts are to paint some and to travel around to some small towns and take pictures of the fall colors. It has been so long since I have had an actual "vacation", I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I wish I could just pick up and fly away somewhere nice, but of course money for hotel, food, etc. Eh. I'll do something nice within driving distance. I will just be grateful to not be at work for a while. The past three months preparing for the site visit have been full of nothing but stress. Well, there is a price for everything I suppose, and all the stress of the last two weeks especially has finally caught up with me. I sit here and type this with a nasty cold and cough. All I can say is, thank goodness it waited till I was done with the site visit.

I'm working on the tarot, as always. This weekend, despite the ever so wonderful effects of cold medication, I did manage to get some painting done on the Nine of Cups. It's coming along and I think I can have it done in a few more days. The nine is card 14 in the countdown. Wow... I can't believe that this is all nearly done. I mean, yes, I still have 13 more card to do, and the 2 cards that will be re-done, but still. Only 13 cards after this one... its just strange because this has occupied a great percentage of my free time for the last 4 years. 13 cards. Just... wow.

just chilling

2010-09-19T04:19:01Z

On September 9, I finished the King of Pentacles card. That means that all the kings now are done! There are only a few court cards left - couple pages and knights is all on that. So the King of Pentacles was card 15. My friend Matt was kind enough to pose for it, thanks Matthew! Only 14 cards to go technically. I have decided that I will for sure revisit the High Priestess and the 5 of Cups, whether now or after the last official card is done, I am not sure. I have photo references for both the High Priestess, the 5 of cups, and the 9 of cups at the present time.

I have decided that I am going to hold one of my tarot landmark parties out at State College with my friends from PRS. With the needed completion of 2 cards before the next party, it could be the Lucky 13 party. Kinda depends on their schedule too. I personally think it would be more appropriate to hold the Big Ten party with them. We've decided on a dinner of chili and Creamery ice cream.

Work is killing me lately. We have our ACGME site visit next week Wednesday, Sept. 22. This is a huge deal for us, it is the make or break situation for our program. So I have been working 10-12 hour days all week and part of last, and capped my already long week off with a killer 17 hour day Friday. This wasn't supposed to happen, but this is 2010 medicine, where we're all supposed to everything with fewer resources than ever before. No help in the office has already been brutal, but this past week completely fucked us. This week saw an issue that we spent nearly every day dealing with in some capacity when I should have been totally focused on the site visit. I desperately didn't want to work this weekend (I was supposed to go to a friend's wedding), so I pushed yesterday, pushed to finish up so I could go. I pushed. I came close to totally finishing the site prep. I worked from 6 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. on Friday. I broke myself a bit. Now I am curled up in my papasan chair in my art room sick from exhaustion and too achy to move. I missed the wedding; it was so far and I was so spent, that Jason talked me out of it for safety sake. He didn't want me driving 5-7 hours ass exhausted. I've been missing him all week as he has been up in Michigan since last Saturday. I very much wanted to dress up and dance with him at the wedding. He was one of the groomsmen, wearing a spiffy tux. So, I went out for a little bit today, felt like shit, came home way early. The sad part is, you can see the tired around my eyes, even under the concealer. I told my department chair that after the site visit I was going to take a week off. He approved and also said he was going to buy me dinner. I figure I'll take one of the weeks in October as vacation. I don't know what I will do, Jason and I are talking about the options. Maybe take some day trips to little random towns and just knock around. Thinking about it.

I'll be better after next Wednesday. I will just hold to that. Just need to hold on a little longer.

Then they can find another way to fuck me.

upcoming event!

2010-09-07T04:06:50Z

This coming weekend, Sept. 11-12, you will find me at State College hanging with Josh and Eilfie and giving a lecture at the PRS weekend seminar. I'll be teaching a class on grounding, shielding and energy, as well as sitting on a panel where we'll discuss alternate beliefs. Click this link for a complete itinerary of the weekend, its going to be fun! www.eventbrite.com/event/811313661
I'm really looking forward to the event, hope to see you there!

spiral_fire @ 2010-08-27T21:06:00

2010-08-28T01:06:17Z

And the updates continue -

I had finished the Page of Swords card on August 17. If you're a fan of the deck on FaceBook, or friended to me, you probably already know that. :-) The Page of Swords was the 16th card in the countdown - Sweet Sixteen - and it completed the Sword suit. The card means "the diplomat, the mediator", and is represented by the warrior with her sword resting on the ground and the standard flying. It is the first suit to be complete in the deck, but more suit completion will rapidly follow as we near the end. The woman on the card was posed by a friend Polina.

Many of the cards in the deck are people I know. For instance, my boyfriend Jason is officially in the deck twice, once as Judgment and another time as the King of Swords. But he has also been the body model for other cards, like the 3 of Pentacles. Though I changed the face slightly, it is still him. It's so much better to draw from a reference photo. All the great artists use references to draw, after all, how can you get your proportions right or the shading and tones if you don't work with a reference?

Michelle and I had a vision meeting on Wednesday. We decided that all great decisions involving the tarot are made over steak at the Outback. Apparently meat drives the tarot. We talked about the remaining cards and made some decisions about where the images should take the story. It's great to talk things out with the deck so that we do keep to the story line and keep the image concepts moving in the right direction. We both have the same vision for the deck, but each of us bring ideas and conceptual concepts to the table for discussion on the representation of the image. I have now taken reference photos for the 9 of Cups, and just received the images for the King of Pentacles. I'm awaiting images for the 10 of cups, but that will come soon. I know now too where the 6 and 7 of Wands will go, now I just need someone to be my reference shot. So there are 5 cards to be moving along quite soon. This weekend will probably be drawings of the King and/or the 9 of cups. I'm feeling pretty motivated to do as much as possible right now to finish. Only 15 cards to go and then we start the exciting process of card production.